I need thee EVERY hour

Warning: This is a long one.

Ahh, life. It has it's complications. It shakes us up and tears us apart. Often times we get so caught up in making money, going to school, getting things done, that we forget what we are really all about. I have been a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for 7 years and 101 days. In that time I've grown up. I've lost loved ones, gotten my heart broken (a few times), I've cried myself to sleep and stayed awake all night laughing with friends. I've learned so much. I've gone from a shy, awkward girl, to a woman who is finally starting to know who she is and understand where she came from. Yes... Sometimes I'm still awkward, but hey, who isn't? :)
Recently I've been coming across a few people who have been saying rude things about some members of the church that they have come across in their lifetime. Saying things about how they've been wronged by members of the church at one point or another. When confronted, I wouldn't say anything. Just sit there and listen, because, to be honest, I probably would have yelled at them.
This past Monday I was at the Sheldon's having dinner with the Missionaries. Connie and Barry where there as well. After dinner we all gathered around the couches to listen to a message from the missionaries that, to be honest, was for me. The Elder talked about how if we are to be happy, we need to CHOOSE to be happy. I have not been happy lately. At all. I'd have moments where I was happy, but to be honest, if someone said "Shelby, are you happy?" I would answer "No." There have been things going on in my life that have just been bringing me down and happiness is a rare thing these days. But when the Elder said those words, I knew he was right. It was like Heavenly Father was saying, "Shelby, I know things are hard, but you HAVE to be happy. I don't like seeing you like this. Please Shelby, Choose to be happy." So, I'm going to try my VERY HARDEST to be happy. Even when people make me angry and frustrated. I'm going to be happy.
As the Missionaries where leaving with the closing statement of "Is there anything we can do to help you?" I rose my hand (force of habit from school) and explained to them about the people at work who have been making the rude comments and it became an open discussion. Barry looked strait at me and said "Shelby, do you really not know what you should say?" I was confused, first because if I knew, I wouldn't have asked, but then I really started thinking about it, and I still had no clue. Then he said something that I don't think I'll forget. He said, "Shelby, you are a convert to the church. Obviously you haven't encountered bad people or you wouldn't be here. Remember that next time." I have literally been thinking about that since he said that.
Life has gotten to me. I've noticed that since I've been home my scripture reading has gone down and my prayers are... "Vain repetition" comes to mind... I've forgotten who I am. I am a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ. Christs one and ONLY true church on the earth. I was not born into this wonderful Gospel. I found it and choose it. I found the truth. And when Barry said that, I was a little heart broken. I had forgotten. I am in love with this Gospel, everything about it screams truth to me, and yet, when I was faced with standing up for it and sharing it's light, I completely dropped the ball. It's so easy to forget how we got to where we are.

I would not be who I am today without the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
It's truth and light makes me who I am.
I know that families can be together forever through the sealing power of the Temple.
I am not sealed to my family, but I still KNOW that someday I will have those blessings.
I know that by living the commandments and Following Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, That I, Shelby Ann Park, can return to my Father in Heaven.
I am a Daughter of God.
I know that through the Atonement I can be forgiven.
And that Jesus Christ died for me.
Sometimes I don't feel worthy of that.
But He knows I am.
He still loves me.
Always.
And He loves everyone else just as much.
Aren't we so blessed?